Thursday, November 6, 2008

Am I a good mom? Cause today I feel awful!

Ok, life here in our house has been tough the last couple of weeks. Things have been going on with our daughter Rebecca. She is a 12 year old girl, going through what 12 year olds go through, and I'm not liking it at all!!! I feel that mostly its my fault cause I didn't put a stop to it months ago. So today I finally had it, and put my big foot down!!! I won't go into the things Becca has been doing, and if I told you, you would probably say, "that's nothing!" But in my little world, it's a big SOMETHING!!! Today Rebecca was suppose to go roller skating with her friends, under the supervision of my friend Donna. Like a usual morning, Becca's attitude showed, freshly, and that's normal around here, and we just put up with it.....and I had to put an end to it. I didn't want to punish her, but my hubby is the strong parent here, and now I understand that he is right, and we need to punish Becca, and keep to the punishment. You see, I am a real softy. I'm like my dad in that way. I say to Becca, "keep it up, and this will happen..." and nothing happens. My hubby has been saying this to me for years...and I would never listen to him...it's all my fault. I want to be my daughter friend, instead of her mom. Don't misunderstand me, I want Becca to be happy...she's basically is a "happy go lucky girl", but lately she has thought she could get away with doing things behind my back...and guess what? I found them all out! Thank you Lord for that still soft voice. So, now that we still have this "hold" on Becca, my parenting skills will change, and with the Lord's help, I will make a change and keep to the punishments that I give out. One of the punishments is taking her cell phone away (wish we never got it for her, it was a gift for getting straight A's)...awful for a 12 year old...her friends can't believe she's punished again...that's all she hears from them. I then tell her, "well if you would stop doing this and that, then you wouldn't be punished again". I hardly had to punish Becca when she was younger....now it's all the time. What has happened to my wonderful little girl? Thank God Becca still tells me things, and she is convicted to confess to me. I hope that never ends. So, now I have my little girl who is mad at me, and of course I feel badly. But if her attitude didn't show badly this morning, and if she would have listened to me when I asked her to do a chore, instead of saying yes she did it, and then I find out she didn't, then she would be going roller skating today, and I would have the afternoon alone! It just wasn't her attitude this morning...it was everything that I have learned that was going on with her for the past 3 months! Mother's intuition is very good here...or should I say the Lord!

Anyone out there with preteen/teen nightmares?

6 comments:

Busy Mom in NJ said...

Hi Liz - I know you guys have been struggling with this. You are great parents and I think now that she is having some consequences for her actions maybe she'll stop doing some of things that have been bothering you so much. We're praying for you guys for wisdom and guidance. Hang in there!

Liz said...

Thanks Beth!

The Crazy Bus said...

Oh, Liz..You did the right thing. It's hard! She is such a smart girl. It may only take that one punishment to get her back on track. We'll pray for you guys and for her too!
Love ya
Danielle

Walking on Sunshine... said...

Don't be too hard on yourself...kids need boundaries and need to know when they do something wrong there's consequences and they need to take responsibility for their actions. The world would be a much better place if more parents did that!

Sue said...

Yes, yes, yes, I am right there with you. I could have written your post myself, expect I have STILL been giving in. You did the right thing, you're doing the right thing stay strong! It is so, so, so hard but our girls are worth it! Our godly adult daughters will be the blessing for the trial that these preteen years are. :)

Liz said...

Thank you everyone for your encouraging words!