Monday, July 21, 2008

Missing Dad

Ok, so for those of you who are bored with me writing about my Dad, I'm not sorry. I've been going through this very hard time in my life, and writing about it, seems to help a lot. Writing about "stuff" here in my blog helps me cope with it all. I'm not a "dark" person, I'm very "light", and cheerful. I love my days here at home with my family, but I too get sad, especially when I think about my Dad. So, I miss my dad. I really do. Life just isn't the same without him. Dad use to frustrate me so, when he was here. He would come over, and just seem to get into everyone way, cause he could hardly see. He was always complaining about something, never wanted to help himself. Not to mention the frustration he put on mom all the time. I did think life without him would be a little easier for all of us, he would be put out of his misery, and all....life isn't easier without him. I think life is harder without my dad. I miss him calling me....I can still hear his voice on the phone, still strong, when his body was so weak, and this was before his accident. When I go to my Mom's new home, for me it's very sad...hard to be there, cause Dad isn't there. When Mom comes here, it's difficult for me, cause Dad isn't here with her. The kids seem fine with it all, but Perdie my dog looks for "Opa" when Mom comes. When the car comes down the block, Perdie runs out the door, right to my Dad's side of the car, but he's not there. Perdie is SAD!!! For me it's very sad. I don't tell Mom this, cause I don't think she would understand, and she would get very hurt. There was no question about it, I loved and respected my Dad, but it was hard these past few years with him not doing very well. Yesterday in church, we sang one of Dad's favorite songs, it was an old chorus...."Glorify thy name...Jesus we love you, we praise you, we adore you, glorify thy name in all the earth...."We use to sing that song all the time in our old church were Dad was the pastor. It just brought back so many memories for me......I started crying, again.....hard for me to hold back these tears lately. I look up into the sky, and know Dad is up with the Lord, not even missing us....he's enjoying his new body with our Lord and Saviour. Mom said to me, I wonder if Daddy missed her? I was surprised that she even said that, I said no, he is so happy just being up in heaven, he isn't thinking about us. It's sad, but very true......no more pain, suffering, crying in heaven, only happiness, and good things. I miss Daddy, that's all I can say.

4 comments:

Jen said...

Not bored at all Liz. I still pray for you. How tough!! Although I haven't lost a parent, we have had a lot of loss in our family. We had 5 year stretch of having family die left and right. It was scary being part of this family thinking we had a ticking time bomb. I don't know why I'm even telling you this, but I've seen the grief process a lot over the last 5 years, much of the loss was sudden and very unexpected, and everything you are going through is very normal. Writing is a great way to kind of sort it all out, and also to make a written record of your memories - how precious for your kids and you to look back on and read. Praise the Lord that you KNOW your Daddy is up in heaven without the pain! Praise the Lord!

Liz said...

Jen you are always so encouraging! Thank you so very much for taking time to read my blog - and then give me feedback! Wish you still lived close by.

Jen said...

Although I love it here too - I too wish I still lived next to you guys! I miss my good friends!

pennywhistle said...

I agree with everyting you said, except for the part that he doesn't miss you. I do think he misses you in a different way, but he has the advantage of being able to visit you whenever he wishes. So, technically he has the best of both worlds. He is living with the Savior, but he can come and spend time with you, watch the kids grow, play with Perdie, and watch over you all in the same note. So, I think you should reassure your Ma, that of course, he misses her, but he really is happy where he is, and he is in a better place waiting for that day some day far away when she will be able to join in on all of the fun. Love ya, Eleanor :)